


Enthalpein

by WrittenLetters



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-15
Updated: 2015-09-15
Packaged: 2018-04-20 23:16:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4805903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WrittenLetters/pseuds/WrittenLetters
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“To put heat into the world is one thing, but will a fire ignite because of it?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Enthalpein

** Relief **

“There is no universal equation for love and those who seek to craft such a beast were never in such a state to begin with.”  

 

* * *

 

Surprisingly, Zuko’s patience hasn’t been strained yet and the sun is well past its midday point. 

 

Sitting on the beach, he digs another design into the sand – a silhouette of a character. Just as the line meets its beginning Toph causes the negative space to sink and crumble in. With another flick of her wrist the drawing hardens and forms a word – _north_.

 

“And this one?” Her voice is quite happy. She’s finally on a roll with these lessons and Zuko doesn’t have the heart to tell her their time was up an hour ago.

 

He smiles and softly draws over the character’s strokes in the correct order. The small flame he generates solidifies the surface – a state in between sand and apprentice’s glass. “It represents north – a direction, one of the four points of a compass.” Mimicking the first step all over again, Zuko outlines _east_ , _south_ , and _west_ in their respective positions. 

 

Toph executes her part of the task, thus letting Zuko reinforce the characters with his firebending. Before he can even explain which one stands for south, Toph plucks east and lets the weight of the molten earth sink into her palms.

 

_I wonder if these would make successful weapons against the Dai Li_ …?

 

Whatever contentment residing in Zuko vanishes. Thoughts of war, an Avatar to train, and how the proverbial end is on its way flashes through his mind. A reading and writing and vocabulary lesson won’t completely disrupt his brain from concocting battle plans. 

 

_Maybe Sokka can help us craft something from this like –_

 

“Hey! Sparky!” Toph’s hand is shaking in front of his face, “There’s nothing like the present and _not_ ignoring me.”

 

Zuko grunts out a “Sorry,” and swats Toph’s hand out of the way. She attempts to roll her eyes at him, but only one is able to complete the full turn. Toph pauses and her own smile disappears. Not even that motion can get Zuko to laugh, so Toph understands his unconscious hint.

 

Toph quietly resets their writing space. “Ok, one more word then.”

 

Zuko runs his hands through his hair. “Name it.”

 

“Show me love.”

 

Zuko’s hands fall from his head and into the sand in a dramatic fashion. The phrase invokes the awkward, angst-ridden teenager in him and he stutters out a response, “Excuse you –“

 

“I’m asking for the word, not for a dance Sparky.” Toph digs her feet deeper into the sand. The rare, softer side of her is now present and it’s threatening to drag her into her element. “I’ve heard the word enough, I’ve felt vibrations associated with it – heck, Snoozles and Fans are walking proof of that –“ Zuko groans, remembering that night he walked into Sokka’s tent, “ – and yet, what’s the symbol that manages to define it all?”

 

It takes Zuko a moment to answer. “There isn’t one.”

 

Contradicting himself, Zuko begins to write various characters into the sand. “You see –“ Top doesn’t bother punching him in the shoulder, “ – there are so many different kinds of love. We don’t have a universal definition of it. In a way we do, but not one that is common knowledge or that is widely accepted. The word is diluted with fantasies, expectations…” Zuko pauses. His own word choice is causing him to break. “It’s difficult. You need to experience it. You need to fail, to succeed, to know that love strengthens bonds, and that no one is supposed to love you. Each person makes that decision – whom they love and how they love. At least the ones that are alive do.”

 

Zuko stops his hand. There before him is Mai’s name.

 

Toph doesn’t need to bend the sand to her will to read Zuko’s confession. She heard rumors in marketplaces throughout the Fire Nation of an impending marriage, but she never thought the information would be beneficial in this manner. His heart thumping away proves it even more so. “You loved her? Her name is Mai, right?”

 

Zuko’s hands dig deeper into the sand.

 

“I call her Knives. She has a wicked throw.”

 

He smiles. “She always will.” 

 

A soft breeze displaces the sand before them; Mai’s name is disappearing.

 

“I did love her, and she loved me. It was more out of necessity. We both had roles to play and we understood that. The idea of sharing that burden crafted the love we had for each other, but we weren’t living… and life is need to keep love alive. We wouldn’t have thrived because we couldn’t even accept ourselves – the roles we were forced to play and who we really were.”

 

“So much so that you had to escape and you hoped she would take her chance to live, but she doesn’t know how to.”

 

Zuko twists around to the owner of the voice. Katara stands behind him, soaking wet from her hair down. Her training session with Aang must be over. Before Zuko can reply back, Katara starts up again.

 

“Toph, it’s your turn with Aang.”

 

Toph doesn’t fuss at Katara or call her a particular nickname. She cracks her knuckles and flicks her wrists. The words “Thanks” and “Play nice” and “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do” appear at Zuko’s feet. Rising, Toph punches Zuko in the shoulder and as she walks away she slaps Katara on the back.

 

Waiting for Toph to be out of eavesdropping distance, Katara starts up. “Suki told me about Boiling Rock.”

 

Zuko turns his back on her.

 

A small frown appears on her face and Katara begins again. “You didn’t come up with that yourself, right? The first part at least.”

 

Zuko glances down and sees the words. He adds “I’m trying” underneath “Play nice”.

 

Taking a step forward, Katara breaks the silence. “I’m sorry, that… that was rude of me. I meant… The whole discussion didn’t sound like you.”

 

Zuko can’t help it, “What am I suppose to sound like?”

 

It’s tough. Even with apologies exchanged its still feels awkward to hold a conversation with her and it’s easier to bait each other. If hugs solved everything then Roku and Sozin would have probably figured things out, and Zuko and Katara wouldn’t be here. They would not have been stuck in an underground, crystal prison or be on the banks of a river where an interrogation occurred or be in some rundown deserted town fighting a common threat. It’s a game of “what ifs” and Zuko knows better than to play that game – he’s hoped for too much and too many great things out of his reach, promises that were never meant for him.

 

It’s all for the best really, where he is now.

 

“Sorry. It’s…” He stops and turns around. It’s time to put his best foot forward, again. “No, I understand. It’s… you’re right anyway. My uncle told me all about, well, _that_.” Zuko pats down the sand next to him.

 

“Iroh?” Katara’s eyes are wide and she makes her way to Zuko’s side.

 

“Yeah. He, actually, um,” Zuko fumbles for the truth, “he learned it from his companion.”

 

“A companion? Not you, I take it?” She smiles, inadvertently making this secret easier to share. She sits next to the spot he indicated.

 

“No – someone who should have been his wife.” Zuko gulps and forces himself to make eye contact. “She was… I wished I met her. Uncle always spoke fondly of her…”

 

It’s silent.

 

Breaking the gap, meeting him halfway, Katara prods him. She begins writing in the sand, reforming his half vanished words. “What was she like?”

 

“From what I heard,” Zuko joins Katara in her writing, “she was a determined young woman who happened to be a savvy political activist, despite her position in society, and could brew the finest jasmine tea. She secretly loved gaudy trinkets and knew how to read palm lines – at least well enough to avoid working in the brothels, and when she did work at the brothels, it was for another purpose entirely. The Fire Nation was too hot for her, but she had a soft spot for the lower market districts as they reminded her of home. That’s why he enjoyed Ba Sing Se so much – that place reminded him of her.”

 

Katara stops and looks up, “Zuko –“

 

“Then again she did live there.”

 

The water is slowly inching closer to their position.

 

“You never wondered why it took my uncle nearly two years to make a dent into the walls of Ba Sing Se?” Zuko’s eyes meet Katara’s now. “He was stalling. He wanted know if she was still alive after her supposed death.” Blue eyes widen at the remark. “… It’s a long story.”

 

“Was he able to find her?”  


Zuko can’t take the spotlight of her eyes and he resumes his work. “… Do you know the saying “Love burns brightest in the dark”?”  


“Yes?” Katara sees him retracing the word love.

 

“It was true for him.”

 

They sit in silence, something they’ve done before, but not with a common understanding.

 

Katara breaks it as the sun begins to dip closer to the horizon. “Thank you, for telling me and helping Toph and –“  


“Please don’t.” Zuko can’t stand gratitude anymore. “I owe you so much that these things, what I am doing… they pale in comparison to what I should have done.”

 

“Zuko.” Katara is tired and wants this to stop – being indebted to one another and not knowing the boy, but almost young man beside her. “Let’s just, about starting over. I know we said we would, but _this_ …”

 

“Yeah?”

 

An idea flashes before her and Katara’s hands are alive as she speaks. “How about… since you told me a secret, I’ll tell you one?”

 

“When the time is right.”

  
“I’ll see you tonight then. After dinner.”

 

“Okay?”

 

Zuko eyes watch Katara rise from her place beside him. As she leaves he focuses his attention back to the scene before him and unknowingly Zuko lets out a breath he was holding in.

 

Toph’s words of “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do” have been transformed into “Don’t do anything _you_ don’t want to do”.

 

Zuko can’t remember if he or Katara changed it.

**Author's Note:**

> Found this buried on my external hard drive. It was drafted as part of a series, but with only the first chapter completed. More than likely this will stay a one-shot for the foreseeable future.


End file.
